Once Upon a Time: An Aviator Pig

He was fast… Yes, that’s how they depicted him… It was said he could cut the clouds piloting any flying object… Aeroplane? Of course he knew how to fly it! Helicopters? He drove them before was born! Zeppelins? He even did somersaults with them in his spare time! Then, hearing about his interesting resume, it wasn’t surprising he was bewildered for his next mission…

‘Advertising?!’ The pilot exclaimed.

‘That’s right!’ The boss clarified. ‘We are getting short of budget, and we need you to use one of the planes with the “Air-Sea Club” banner to attract new customers…’

‘And you think that’s going to work…’ The aviator answered frustrated.

‘Come on! We must try! Or do you prefer a repetition of the “734” debacle?’ The boss insinuated.

‘Holy mother of all propellers… NO…’ The aviator frightened.

‘Then… Go fly and get me some new customers!’ The boss ended up throwing the aviator out of her office and slamming the door in his face.

At the hangar, the pilot checked his aeroplane, an old piston monoplane. He ensured that it was on condition to face the mountain weather, and taking into account that the sea was too close to the location assigned to advertisement. He added it the floaters extensions for on water landing.

‘The plan is simple: Get to the spot, release the banner so the wind can spread it… Easy peasy! And after that… Pirouettes!’ He said to himself as he was taking off.

Once he found himself at 1000 feet, and parameters were stable, he pulled the lever to release the banner and… RIIIIIP!

The banner tore in half, leaving the message incomplete for the city’s inhabitants, who only managed to read ‘Air-S…’

‘Air-S… What does that mean?’ - A watcher asked himself from land.

‘Isn’t it obvious! Air-S-andwiches! Buy your air-sandwiches! They’re still freshly baked!’ Shouted to the air the owner of the Air-Sandwiches restaurant…

The pilot landed on water and headed to the dock, where unhanged the banner and took it to the ‘local banner maker’.

‘Man, it’s fine, but… This banner is useless…’ The pilot said showing the only half of the banner he still had.

‘Mmm.’ Muttered the printer. ‘Don’t worry, Mr… We’ll give you another… At lowered cost…’

Once it was ready, the pjlot attached it again to his small plane. He took off among the turquoish waters of the sea, and when he reached the appropriate altitude, pulled once more from the lever, just to hear again a “Riiiip”, fortelling him to go back to land.

So continued the game of banners all the afternoon… The plane took off, he pulled the lever, the banner tore, he landed, he complained to the printer, he got a new banner at an each time lower cost, and he took off again just to repeat the cicle… And gave free advertisement to the Air-Sandwiches Restaurant in the process...

‘This is ridiculous! How can you make so bad quality banners!’ The aviator shouted angered, while arriving the bay’s dock… Again… ‘This deserves to be known! It’s beyond bearing!’

Thus, this time, he bought a huge canvas, and with a big brush added it large letters. Once the paint was dry, he tied it up very well to his plane and took off once more towards the sky.

At the usual 1000 feet, he pulled the lever and the banner revealed before the now-not-so-impressed population:

“Let not be cheated! Local banners are ba…”

RIIIIP!

The banner tore in half.

THE END

STORMER